s t a r s . [rhett]

[dolores maria haze]

Happiness.

In the dictionary, happiness meant good fortune, pleasure, contentment, and joy. Or maybe those were just synonyms and the dictionary was just very horrible at defining such abstract words. Regardless, Dolores was pretty damn sure she didn't have it. She knew she did, at one point in her life, and though it was never exactly to the fullest, it was fucking close enough. The worst part of it was, she hated shopping. Yes, shopping had to do with her lack of happiness because she realized that the bigger she got, the less clothing she fit into. Seriously? The only thing she could sleep in was Rhett's old shirt...which was weird, but she hadn't realized she had been wearing it the day she quit the agency, found out he was sleeping with a bimbo, and left the apartment all together-leaving everything in place expect that glass that was on the beach the first time they met. That and the shirt that was currently folded ever so carefully on top of her dresser underneath said glass not having been touched since the day she left. Maybe it was to remind her that she needed to let go of, well, not only him but everything else that made her absolutely miserable and bitter with her life.

Afterall, a happy mommy proved for a happy baby and so, she did everything in her power to at least remain distracted which was why she was holding some old copy of Gone With The Wind (Yes...she only read it because his name was in it...she's so pathetic) with about three large bags on her other arm so her hand was holding the fairly large blue slushie and taking a large slurp every now and again while reading the book outloud. People didn't seem to pay any attention to her considering she was pregnant, obviously talking to her fairly large stomach, and speaking in a totally different language than Italian. She wore nothing grand, just a pastel pink sundress and some white flats, some paint splattered on the dress since she was technically on her 'break' and her hair was up in some messy chic bun thing that had two clean paintbrushes and a pen holding it in place.

Taking a large slurp as she reached the food court, her nose seemed to take in all the smells and almost immediately that craving for icing covered pretzels hit her and she was taking another slurp of the slushie and heading right into the crowd on the hunt for the delicious treat. Mmm....it sounded so good right about now...She stopped reading, since she knew Baby, as she took too calling her, most likely wouldn't be able to hear her and let the book fall into one of her bags full of clothes from some random designer places that sold decent dresses she wouldn't mind spilling some paint on, "Pretzel per favore," she told the cashier while pulling out her wallet from one of the bags and paying while being handed the giant thing. She felt like her mouth was going to water so stepping out of the line, she took a giant bite, which, after pulling away looked ridiculously small, and closed her eyes slightly as if in a slight euphoria. She craved such random things lately...Last night she had a pizza with chocolate sprinkles and pickles on top of cheese, tomato sauce, and pepperoni. She felt fat. Seriously. Not even with Baby inside her as an excuse. She never ate this much before and it slightly freaked her out. What if she stayed fat? That meant Baby had the potential to be fat...Not that she hated fat people, it was just that, well, she was shallow even toward herself. She didn't think she'd be shallow if Baby turned out fat, right? Maybe.

Fuck. She was going to be such a horrible mother and she only had two more months to figure out what the hell she was going to do with herself...

Okay, deep breathe....Open eyes...And then she seemed to regret opening her eyes. She had been lost in the icing and pretzel bliss and that blue slushie brain freeze river until her eyes landed on someone who was supposed to be in France, screwing the chick he obviously would prefer over Dolores herself and well, no, he was right across from her and starring dead at her. No, he was probably looking past her. She couldn't even deny it was him because she knew those perfect shade of blue orbs she was secretly hoping Baby would get and that smooth puff of jet black hair on top of his head...The way he was standing that seemed to prove he was different from everyone else, his clothes showing he was loaded (in more than one way), his soft lips that always seem to be in a permanent smirk whether he realized it or not...And then she felt a large kick and she could have sworn up and down on her mother's grave that Baby hit her liver...or kidney...or lung...or some other vital organ because Dolores ended up dropping that yummy pretzel she just lost her appetite for and let out a loud, "FUCK!" while grabbing the side of her stomach.

She had to leave. Yeah, leaving was good. So with one last glance up just to make sure he still wasn't staring at her, which he obviously still was, she bit her lower lip and turned around,heading for the exit. Out. She needed to get out because these damn hormones suddenly made her want to cry and she didn't want to cry. She cried in front of him once pathetically and even begged. She never begged for anything. Nothing whatsoever. Yet she had begged him not to leave her which he did anyway but how was she suppose to know he would be in Italy? She came here to get away from her old life and start over with Baby inside her....

Who wouldn't stop kicking might I add...She seemed like a very distressed child along with her mother, who tossed the slushie in a trash can and leaned against a wall to brace herself for the sudden rush of pain that seemed to tear at her insides. Idiot. Moron. Asshole. Prick. Cheater. Liar....He just had to show up again didn't he? Rhett just had to make her life that much more impossible than it already was...Take her happiness-or at least false happiness for a second time.

[RHETT DONATIEN OSANNE]

The mall really was a weird place for Rhett to be not. Not counting the fact that it reminded him of countless shopping excursions he'd been dragged along on, it also had some sort of strange twilight effect that left him gasping for some form of rescue, for a breath of fresh air in a mass of rooms completely filled to the brim with smelly foreigners and a variety of disgusting examples of society. He'd think in Europe the malls, if they even had them, would be considerably better than anywhere else in the world. Better stores, better people, less fattening, disgusting food. Alas, he hadn't exactly made it a point to go hunting for the shopping centres, and thus had been rendered absolutely speechless when it came to the stupid malls and their unfailingly unclassy aspects. Nowhere good to shop, piled on top of crowds of people who'd obviously never heard of deodorant and shampoo. If he'd been skeptical before, now he was doubting big time that something outside of what he was used to existed. America was horrible because foreigners crowded into it and spit their languages all over the place, and then europe was worse because only the places they had in America truly seemed to be covered in just Europeans. Never mind the fact that he was originally born in Paris and lived there until he was a teenager, at which point he hopped the ocean. That was irrelevant. Apparently it proved he was capable of making fun of his own people in an arrogant, annoyed way, without feeling any hints of regret. And yet, somehow sitting in the food court and making comments in his head about the people wasn't half as amusing as doing it with Doli sitting across from him had been, the two of them making face over their drinks and proclaiming things like “I'm so glad no one knows we're related, it makes this relationship so much easier.” just to see the looks on people's faces as they walked by. Occasionally they'd hold hands and he'd say, “You being my cousin doesn't disgust me half as much as I thought it would.” Sometimes names, like Bertha, would come into play, and Doli would have him in hysterics, laughing at the lovely, lovely citizens of Bridgeport, Connecticut. In Paris things were different. Tense. It was like that virtually all the time, and after a while he found himself just sick of everything. And the weird thing was, it had nothing to do with her. But he sort of took it out on her anyway, and then the guilt was overpowering.

Which might have explained why he'd ended up moving away from Paris. Sometimes suffocation was just in the cards, even though it made no sense to the situation at hand. And although Elise was with him in the city, she wasn't actively with him. She lived on her own in an apartment purchased through her parents, spoiled as always. Sometimes she'd come over to bring food or whatever the fuck it was she wanted from him, but the most reaction she ever got was a straight look in the face and a shutting of the door. Christ, it was horrible to be him, sometimes. His brain had fucked him over and he knew that – he knew he'd screwed everything up. In another dimension, he was sitting on the floor right now, fighting over words in Scrabble with what may or may not have been the love of his life. That thing that said yearning was always strengthened by distance? So, so true. The person who said it had no idea how very right they were. Brushing a strand of his messy dark brown hair away from his eyes, he sighed heavily and lifted an arm, stretching the joint until his elbow cracked and he released something of a bored, annoyed sound. Boredom wasn't something he entertained well, but he'd quit his job and thus there was nothing to do but spend the money he was entitled to since birth. That was another part of his life he enjoyed because of Doli – finding out what it was like to live on the cheaper side of things. Granted, she was never broke, but she wasn't anywhere near the level he was at and it was cool to go through and see how life was for other people. Fast food restaurants had been something of his imagination, and suddenly he was eating Mcdonalds once a week. Sure, he'd put on some weight because of it, but he was too skinny to begin with, and it looked good on his bones. Now he was back to skipping meals, because obviously everything about him needed to just be purified. He was filthy and that much was obvious, so a diet of cigarettes and alcohol was basically all he kept in his system. Occasionally some food to keep himself from being sick by overexposure to those stupid byproducts of wasteful, useless humanity.

Standing from his position, he stretched his back out briefly and yawned, shoving a hand through the dark curls once more because they continuous fell into his features, and tossed his cup of untouched soda into the nearest recycling bin. People in Italy got pissed if you didn't bother with distinguishing between black and blue garbage cans. To Rhett, it was all the same. But apparently that was inconsequential to these world-saving sons of bitches. And that was when he saw her. Very, very beautiful, as always. She hadn't noticed him and he could thank his lucky stars for that, but it was a familiar shock of brown, tousled hair, wide-set, childlike eyes that beheld an innocence that would never have given her away, tanned, perfect skin... and a very, very pregnant stomach. Either that or she'd just gained an immense amount of weight in the belly area of her otherwise slender figure. Which he doubted. Dolores had always been a stick. When he'd known her, anyway. And anyone in the modeling field who fucked with her weight, he'd kill the living shit out of them, because she was his Dolores and she was fine the way she was. And then he realized he was staring. Staring at that belly, the belly that meant so much. If it wasn't his, he'd probably attempt to let her go be happy with whoever's it was, and if it was his... well, that changed things dramatically. Because he was a tool and a douche and he knew it, but this was ten fold what he was positive of before. If he left her while she was pregnant, ran off because he couldn't handle himself anymore and didn't want to hurt her anymore than he already had by being a filthy mother fucker, then the baby didn't need him. And he was worried that he might be out of control again, might do something stupid again and hurt her more than before, if he'd hurt her this time. She looked good. And then he raised his eyes, scanning her face once again, having stopped in the middle of the food court to reminisce on old times, when he realized she knew he was looking. And she was looking back. Some part of him grappled with himself, trying to find something to say, but there was nothing. No words. No apologies. No mourning of their lost relationship.. nothing. He couldn't even make a throat sound. It was just a blank silence that seemed to encapsulate him, despite the obvious motion around him and the completely active society, just swirling around him. He was like a rock in a stream. There was nothing moving him.

And then she slouched against a wall. His stomach hit his feet in record time.

It took Rhett a grand total of about two seconds to get from where he was standing over to her, fussing as if he'd do something, but there wasn't anything. Just.. “Hey, Dolores...” awkward silence. “Are you okay?” and brace himself for the tangent, because even as a twenty three year old, completely self-sufficient man, he was acting like a pussy and he knew it. But he had nothing. There was no calming words, nothing smooth, no pick up lines, no complements, no comments about the baby, nothing to say she looked radiant and good and happy, almost. If it weren't for the faltering expression she had on at the moment, and the absolute horror in her features at seeing him. He got that. He really did. It all made perfect, consequential sense. And he was prepared to face to consequences of his action to the best of his ability. He wanted her to yell, he wanted her to scream and maybe slap him. Whatever helped her be back to normal and not crouched over in pain, because that was weird and strange and he was worried – so worried. Hadn't seen her in seven months and fifteen days, two hours, twenty six minutes and thirty two seconds. Approximately. And now she was in pain, literally, and it brought him back exactly to where he'd been before. Asking if she was okay when she obviously wasn't, so she'd yell and things would go back to normal. So he could stop feeling like he walked straight off of a soap opera and maybe do something productive with his time instead of sitting around and molding. Maybe gain back a little bit of his confidence and penchant for being a dick, a lonely, sarcastic asshole. But not so lonely. His brain couldn't comprehend what he was supposed to do at the moment and it was written all over his face – no girlfriends had ever really had an impact like this, no one had ever really mattered. Until now. And it was just like him to fuck it up.

[/blockquote]

[dolores maria haze]

If looks could kill, Dolores would have killed the male in front of her at least five times over...If her pain currently wasn't clouding her judgment. Okay, it wasn't, it actually just intensified the fact that he was here, when she didn't want him to be (though secretly her heart did leap in a good way when she saw him...but she would never admit that out loud), and that it felt like her hips were getting wider or something along those lines, "No, I'm not okay," she said it a bit bitterly, rolling her eyes as she stood up straight, a her nose scrunching up slightly and her jaw locking as she had one hand resting on the side of her stomach, "You're here probably with your skank and that really doesn't help my situation at all since I'm the one who got stuck pregnant," she was rambling. Why was she even rambling? Probably because she was in pain. Taking another deep breath, she calmed herself, unable to bring her eyes up to his own.

"I think that's why Baby is moving so much," she stated bitterly, glancing down at her stomach, "maybe her father pisses her off," she frowned slightly, finally glancing up at him, "What do you want?" simple question, right? Very simple, "Because whatever it is you can go find it somewhere else. Baby and I are fine on our own," she drummed her slender fingers on her stomach a bit before she felt another kick and she winced slightly. That didn't help her case. But looking up at him, her eyes wavered and the frown seemed to only turn into a slight pout. She wanted to hug him, kiss him, tell him all about Baby and show him all the ultrasound pictures but then that image would come back. The image of him standing there drunk by the window and her next to him. He wouldn't even look at her as his mouth formed the words that suddenly made her shatter on the inside and that some how erupted and showed up on the outside as well. She couldn't stop the cracked image of herself from forming and she couldn't stop sobbing. She still hated herself for that. She shouldn't have cried, she shouldn't have told him not to leave...Maybe she should have stayed. Apparently he went back to the apartment because at once point or another she got a call from that landline and all she did was throw her phone out and get a new one with a new number...but with the same background: him. She swore she would change it, though, at least when Baby arrived. Her first kid...It did make her happy...But it scared her at the same time.

Dolores, somehow, seemed to melt under his gaze as she had so many times. She was so used to seeing him a certain way that now, up close, she realized how much that specific look had changed. It was like he was still drunk looking out that window and looking as hurt and as angry as she was and it pained her to see him like that. She almost felt like she was the one who caused it and maybe she did. She shouldn't have been gone working all the time. Maybe if she stayed home more or stayed as a waitress...But she got up to his level. She was just as well known as he was now and that was all she wanted. She didn't want him to feel embarrassed if he had to introduce her to other people as 'just the girlfriend'. She wanted him to be proud of her and he wouldn't be proud of her if she was serving tables and making deliveries or spinning around a pole for singles.

Without hesitation, yet slowly, Dolores reached over and grabbed his hand. It wasn't a firm grasp, just gently to bring his hand up to her firm stomach, placing it right over her navel where there was a sudden kick. Baby seemed to take a liking. Of course she did. It was her father after all but she seemed to take a liking to a lot of people especially students. Staff not so much, "We made that," a soft smile fell over her face, but it was one of those sad soft smiles she used to give him when they first met, the kind that proved she was trying her hardest to keep her pride in tact without breaking down all those barriers, "Her," she bit her lower lip, realizing she had her hand on top of his and let it fall to her side. She shouldn't be touching him...She shouldn't be nice to him whatsoever. But he had become her weakness over the time they had known each other. No matter how desperate she was to get away from the memories, both good and bad, to just be angry with him and hate him-she just couldn't...Well, she could-hate him at least...but not for long. No, she always just ended up sitting in her room at the school and crying if she thought about it too much and then she'd want a cigarette or alcohol and that wouldn't help Baby much in that department, "Baby," Yeah, she was creative with names. She thought about naming her after her mother and then realized it would be better to just name her Baby and Charlotte could be her middle name or something.Baby Charlotte Osanne. Yeah, she wanted her to have his last name deep down but she figured since he wouldn't be there to sign the papers, her last name would be Haze.

Clearing her throat,she grabbed the bags she put down while bracing herself for the pain that rocked her to the core and let her eyes fall. She couldn't look at him or she would do what she just did-prove that she missed him achingly so and that he was her weakness. It was easier to be angry with him when she wasn't looking, "How are you and your skank? Here on your second honeymoon? Guessing the first one wasn't good enough, hmm?" In those few moments of letting her guard down, she simply built them back up with her last statements and rhetorical questions. She figured he would still be with her...He was never the type to be alone. It was what happened in his whore phase right? Always out with women so he wouldn't be alone, or at least that was how she viewed it probably because that was somewhat the reason, other than desperation and entertainment, that she got into stripping, "Why are you here, Rhett?" she exhaled, shaking her head slightly as she did so, and looking down at the ground instead of up at him, "You shouldn't be here....I don't need you here right now. I got enough to worry about," she winced slightly, feeling the pain hit her again and finally deciding that leaning against the wall would be a way better deal than standing there. Instead, though, she seemed to automatically reach out and grab Rhett's hand and squeezing the shit out of it as a slightly whimper came out, her eyes closing tightly. Ow. Fuck.

Baby wouldn't stop moving and whenever she moved it was like every internal organ was about to collapse or like her hips were being pulled on either side. Like really really really bad cramps or something, "Stop kicking," she said softly, her free hand on her stomach as she exhaled and inhaled smoothly to keep herself calm and slowly, the pain passed and she let go of Rhett-especially after realizing what she just did,"Just because I did that doesn't mean I need you...." she mumbled, obviously upset at herself for reacting in such a way.

[RHETT DONATIEN OSANNE]

Despite his vain attempts to make some kind of acknowledgement to what she said, all Rhett could manage was to hang his head and frown at the floor, his lips curling down at the corners as a sort of shame burned over him. Especially because... christ. She was pregnant. She was pregnant! Was it wrong he felt like screaming like a little girl and jumping up and down? At least she'd acknowledged that much, instead of passing it off as someone else's, and the fact that she kept it... my god. He felt like grinning from ear to ear, and had trouble keeping the penance he felt it necessary to pay in place, his slender figure hunched a bit so she could see the disappointed expression on his face, but he wasn't disappointed with her. Just with himself and how quickly he'd given up what was easily the best thing to happen to him. But she was out working and he was lonely at home, having forgone his own job because he knew she didn't like it. He'd known ever since she bought the oreos and took him up to the rooftop, and despite his usually spiteful attitude, Rhett seemed to have something of a weakspot for Dolores. He didn't want her frustrated or angry with him under an circumstances, so he'd washed his job down the drain and uprooted, because he thought it would be what made her happy... and instead he saw her off posing on top of random guys (that were less attractive than he was, he was sure) and dropping weight like crazy because they wouldn't let her eat. He could remember her tromping in at three a.m., exhausted from a day when they'd kept her at the shoot all day, and the dark circles were so deep... she did look better now, though. So maybe it was him that had been wearing her out. Well, not now specifically – at the moment she looked like something was ripping her apart from the inside out. But just in general. “I, uh...” he offered a sheepish, I-have-no-fucking-clue smile, something that would probably make her want to smack him upside the head. “You don't look like you're doing fine, is all. And I wanted to make sure you weren't going to die in the middle of the food court. I thought I could at least help you outside, so the sky would be the last thing you see, versus all the fat people in Europe grouped into one place.” he shrugged, grappling desperately with himself to try and gather control of the situation. It wasn't working out for him very well, in case you were wondering. Instead, this would probably warrant some kind of scream fest that would result in her stress-birthing and something going wrong and god knew what else. He ran a hand through his hair, a symptom of very, very stressful situations in his life. A cigarette would do to help him calm down, and if he wasn't around a pregnant woman.. a woman pregnant with his child, (yes, he did have to keep reminding himself of that) he probably would have lit one up, regardless of the 'no smoking' signs all over the fucking place. Rules were meant to be broken and the worst thing that could happen would be getting kicked out of the mall. A small price to pay for some kind of relief.

The second his hand was pressed against her stomach, Rhett was relatively certain he was going to go weak in the knees and pass out. All those months of frustrated sighs and fights with Elise, trying his hardest to just live on his own but failing miserably. That wasn't happening and he knew it, unfortunately. And then there was this thing, this baby inside the usually slender stomach that belonged to Dolores, and he could feel it, her moving. Baby. His Baby. It was a bit too much for him to handle at the moment, in reality. Not to mention it would make sense that she was probably... oh, fuck. What if she was giving birth. “Listen, I know it's been a while since we discussed your vagina and it's various uses,” Yep, still a prick. Was that ever going to change? Probably not. It was extremely unlikely that his personality would ever completely evaporate, even if for a couple of moments he was rendered useless by the completely glowing nature of his ex/maybe-still-current-but-he-wasn't-sure girlfriend. She looked like someone stuck a lightbulb in her body and turned it on, completely illuminated. Maybe more like she'd found her life purpose.. or something. Suddenly, he understood what people meant when they said a bright and sunny pregnancy. And it was his baby in there, a little piece of him mixed with her, complete perfection personified. He found his mind reeling, trying to grasp how much his life would change. What most men had to conceptualize over a course of nine months, he had about.. a day. Oh, fuck. “But is it at all possible that your water broke sometime previous to this lovely little meeting?” he finished, catching his breath and pulling his hand back from her stomach, tucking it nonchalantly into his pocket and closing his fist to maybe hold on to the feeling of her, both of his girls, on his palm just a little bit longer. Pausing for a moment before hearing her comment about the second honeymoon, he frowned, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” too tired to argue with her after just seeing her again, the first time in months on end.

“I didn't know the mall was off limits,” he stated in his own defense, shrugging. “How was I supposed to know you'd be here, too? I figured small town Italy was a pretty safe place to get away from everything – Elise included, in case you were serious about wondering – and it turns out you happened to have the same idea. Not either of our faults.” but before he could get out more of an explanation as to his presence, she was squeezing the shit out of his hand and he just about fell over with the force behind it. Well, this wasn't normal. They were going to the hospital, because even if she was going to kill him and hate him and whatever else, he wasn't going to let her or the baby die from something that could easily fixed, and if nothing was indeed wrong, they were going anyway just to make sure. She didn't really have a say in it. So, without further adieu, he slid his arm around her waist and took his hand from his pocket, smoothing a couple pieces of hair away from her forehead and snatching her bags out of her hand with his free fingers, holding them effortlessly. Tugging her towards the direction of the nearest exit, hand offered in case she needed something to squeeze once more, he cleared his throat.. “We're going to the hospital.” in something of an informercial voice. “Hope you know how to give directions to cabbies in Italian, because I walked here.”

[/blockquote]

[dolores maria haze]

"My water didn't break. I would have noticed," she said between clenched teeth as another wave hit here. If he was right though, when was the last wave? Maybe five minutes ago...That would mean at three she had to get ready to push. No way was she ready to have a baby. As much as she tried to mentally prepare herself for such a task, because she was sure she could handle the physical because she was sure she had gone through much, much worse, holding a baby, feeding a baby, changing a baby, revolving her life and schedule around said baby for at least eighteen or so years...She wasn't ready on that front. In a way, she was excited to be a mother but terrified and a bit upset it had to happen this way. She figured he would have been with her through the whole thing-through all the morning sickness she had to go through, all the ultrasounds, all the checkups, picking out baby names, painting the baby's room, buying furniture and clothes...Instead, all she managed to really do was get...nothing? She supposedly had two and a half months to go and with work, she hadn't had time to go and pick out anything else other than clothing and toys...She was never good at buying furniture. Her own dorm at the academy was fairly empty other than all the new baby stuff all over the place.

"And Milan isn't a small town, you fucking prick," she practically barked it out as she seemed to be somewhat dragged to the exit to find a cab, "Plus, just because I'm pregnant doesn't change anything," maybe she was delusional and honestly? She was ready to bark out everything she had been holding in for the past few months, "It doesn't change the fact you thought I would sleep with my gay best friend or that you decided plowing a skank, whore, annoying, seriously young, and disgusting bitch would somehow make said assumption any better," she didn't want to go to the hospital but she knew that he was probably right about going. What if Baby was coming? The least she could do was go-for her sake and no one else's because to her, Baby was all she had left in this stupid world. She couldn't even keep Rhett's interest or keep him happy long enough so, he was out the window. Her family was deceased minus her psychopathic father who was writing the second book about her because she was so caught up in Rhett and their issues she somewhat forgot to sue his ass and file for a restraining order...Baby and herself was all she truly had and she wanted to make the most of it. She wanted to be there for her like her mother was there for her and give her everything her tiny little heart desired.

"Ospedale fretta," she stated simply and a bit calmly to the cab driver, her Italian surprisingly smooth. It was pretty close to Spanish and she spoke it on a regular basis so practice made perfect, "Baby and I don't want you. We're fine on our own. And no, you're wrong, because it is your fault. All of it," she winced slightly, grabbing his hand tightly as another wave hit her. Fuck, crap, shit on a stick. That was a bad one. She could feel her heart thumping faster in her chest and her breathing become slightly more labored. No...damn. She could hold Baby in there, right? She wasn't ready to come out. She was only six and a half months and the doctors already said she was a bit too small and that she needed to stay there as long as possible-not come out early. What if she was sick? What if something went wrong? Damn it!

"Okay, I lied, not your fault," she was taking deep breathes as she spoke, hoping maybe then she could hold Baby in. Was that even possible? "My fault for actually trying to get up on your stupid level by modeling-which is hell by the way. I hate being told what to do," she scrunched up her nose before the cab driver pulled over but by then she seemed stuck to her seat. She was not going to move...not if it meant more pain than she was already in, because her eyes were shut tightly again, her jaw locked, and a whimper coming out of her throat to indicate that this was not the time to be yelling at Rhett-but she couldn't help it. Her hormones were beyond her control at the moment and so was her brain and mouth that was connected to it, "Baby....now...coming...out," another whimper and she was biting her lower lip so hard, she might as well draw blood from them. Aw man...what if she gave birth right in that cab outside the hospital? That would definitely be one hell of a story...

[RHETT DONATIEN OSANNE]

The ride to the hospital for Rhett was a series of awkward glances between himself and the stomach bulging between Dolores’s hips, his muscular shoulders sideways so he could better brace himself when she squeezed his hand. He was yelling in Italian at the taxi driver to go faster, even though the little Italian he knew was broken and eventually he ended the screaming session in French, but they pulled up in front of the hospital before long, and he was immediately out, throwing a wad of money - god even knew how much - over the partition between the driver and the back, and cradling Doli because obviously with her contractions going, she couldn’t walk. Kicking open the door to the hospital with his foot, he pushed past the security guard and found a wheelchair that’d been strewn from a previous visior. Situating her into it, he proceeded to the nurses station and managed to get her into a room within ten minutes, the help of a couple hundred Euros speeding the process along by maybe a couple of seconds. But hey, it was all she could do. She’d been carrying his baby and he didn’t even know, Rhett would shit a golden egg if he thought it would help her out here. But he knew better, he knew it wouldn’t. because regardless of how much money he could throw around, she was still going to have to have this baby. It was still going to hurt her like a motherfucker, and he was still going to sit there and take everything she threw at him, like he was expecting her to do in the mall. But she didn’t, mainly because she was pretty damn distracted with what was at hand.

And then things had gone relatively smoothly. The doctor had shown up when he was expected to, and even though he didn’t speak English, the command was pretty obvious. Push. And she had, and there weren’t any complications with the baby, a beautiful girl promptly named Baby. He’d signed the papers, and then since it was around four in the morning and he’d yet to catch any z’s, had curled up in the chair beside the bed to get some rest and maybe be of some use in the morning. But that was no use either - every couple of minutes, he ended up waking up and glancing over at the crib the hospital had set up in the room with them, staring at it as if a hole was going to burn through the side and he’d be able to see what was going on in there. It was driving him crazy not to get up and make sure Baby was okay, but he didn’t, mainly because he knew if he moved, Doli would wake up.. And he didn’t want that. She deserved to sleep as well. Or maybe she wouldn’t, because theoretically speaking, she was so hyped up on morphine he’d worried about the dosage. Pain medication seemed like the first thing they’d done once Baby was out, and for good reason. She was a small baby, but still.. He was damn glad he never had to do that.

[dolores maria haze]

Even though she was stuck literally giving an all natural birth (though she had planned on pumping as many pain killers into her body as possible to make it easier), the doctor had later told her he was surprised she hadn't screamed out once, instead only the occasional whimper and sharp intake of air being heard before the loud crying that escaped Baby's throat. Holy crap could she cry, but eventually, after all the damn morphine was pumped into her system, she was in bed, pretending to sleep, because she couldn't and with good reason. Dolores kept her back to Rhett, curled up on her side, eyes completely focused on that crib. She had refused to hold her at first...She was too scared to. It was like accepting reality and she didn't want to just yet. Her stomach was already getting smaller and she kept her hand on it. She felt empty without Baby there and she didn't like that feeling. Baby Charlotte Osanne. At least she got to see her...And she was probably the most beautiful creature she had ever seen in her entire life. Dark hair and bright eyes like father dearest. She had to admit...It was what she was hoping for.

By sometime in the middle of the night, when Rhett had nodded off a bit but not completely since he seemed as awake as she was, she ended up sitting up in the bed, debating on whether she should go and see her or not. Biting her lower lip, she forced herself to get up, glad she felt numb with all the morphine or she probably wouldn't have been able to walk. That was a lot more painful than she expected and she was pretty sure her vagina would never be the same again. Baby had been so tiny...The hospital diapers reached her torso.Glancing into the crib, she could see that tiny little girl looking up at her and all Dolores wanted to do was keep her to herself...Or just give her to Rhett because he'd probably be a better parent than her. He'd spoil her the way he spoiled Doli, treat her like his own little princess but she felt like she wouldn't be able to live up to the part of mother bear, "She looks like you," she said quietly, looking down at her as Baby wrapped her tiny fingers around Doli's slender pinky. And with the tiny gurgle, a grin tugged at her lips instead of just some exhausted look that seemed to plague her along with paranoia and worry,"I was hoping she would," gently she smoothed her hair back, "I missed you..." though she had been looking down at Baby as she said it, she glanced over her thin shoulder at Rhett, sending the message in his direction. She did miss him...terribly, "I still do,"Even though he was in the same room with her, she couldn't bring herself to actually be too close to him-not mentally. All she kept doing was thinking about her...Elisa or whatever the hell her name was...Him touching her, kissing her, confiding in her, trusting her, wanting her, needing her...And not Dolores. That was probably what killed her the most-that she was basically useless after that, "You weren't suppose to leave..." she could feel her voice cracking and that lump growing. Maybe her anger disappeared and she suddenly felt everything she felt that one night six or so months ago or maybe it was the sudden realization that she did find her purpose, Baby, but that she was terrified to actually go through with such a purpose if it meant someday losing that purpose when she was older....

[RHETT DONATIEN OSANNE]

It was just so completely repetitive. Life seemed to come back and slap you in the face over and over and over again, no matter how many times you apologized, no matter if you groveled at the accusing person or offered something in return for the agony you caused them. It was mostly because you coudn't take back what you had done, but Rhett had understood – and lived by – that philosophy for years now. Years. And then one random stripper had turned his life around without even trying. Sure, she probably hated him at first, but it hadn't stayed that way for long and in a way, he had known it wouldn't. Since then, he'd come to realize that most things with Dolores didn't stay stationary, they were constantly spinning like he was standing in the middle of a whirlpool she had created and while it was sickening, he couldn't enough of it. Like that ride at the fair where you screamed and screamed until your throat ached and yet you still went on it again, even if it was just because your friends wanted you to go – or that's what you said, but deep down you knew the truth. You'd give anything for that thrilled, weightless feeling.. the feeling that it was okay to scream and let go of all of your inhibitions, let everything go while you just let out all of your frustrations into the sky. And all the while, people thought you were screaming because you were plummeting towards the ground. But Rhett didn't have a phobia of heights and it wasn't like he was rapidly becoming something of an adrenaline junkie, no, not at all. He just knew what it was like to be flying so high that once your feet were on the ground again, you didn't want to take the next step. And that was where he was now, his lips pursed as he tried to think of something that would make things better, smooth them over. Make her forget about what happened. On top of the highly emotional display that he was undoubtedly about to take part in, she was stoned out of her mind on morphine and her being intelligible wasn't something he expected. It may have been why he was so surprised when she started going back to what had happened in the past, recalling events that he remembered all too vividly.

“I...” he started to explain himself, but found that there really was nothing to say after that. He didn't want to blame her for it, because it wasn't her fault. Her work wanted her there and he wanted her home, and between those two extremes, there was nothing. Once she was home she was practically a zombie from all the work they made her do and the food they wouldn't let her eat, and it really just made him want to sick the hounds on them – she was already so, so skinny... and then they'd pushed it, and he'd grown bored, and sometime at the studio he'd met Elise, who was the only person he found he could tolerate at the moment, even if she was a couple of years younger, who gave a fuck, right? Well.. he didn't ever think he'd end up doing anything with her. Until the thought of losing Doli to a fag, a fag, entered his mind, and then he was so clouded over with that that any other thought wasn't happening. Not to mention, a fag he hated, and he'd gone out and drank so much that he could hardly remember his own name, but not before he stumbled over to Elise's house, and pretending it was the Doli he felt like he couldn't have, he'd done exactly what he'd promised himself he would never do. It was like the epitome of why he'd never had a successful relationship – the commitment level didn't ever occur to him at moments like that, and it was so stupid, and so wrong, and he felt like he was back in high school again, but christ, he'd kill Elise if he knew it'd make Doli love him again, trust him again. He'd put his fingers around her slender neck and squeeze until she didn't breathe in again.

But he didn't do that, because it was murder and he'd probably die in jail. Not to mention, he really stopped talking to her after that. She couldn't make him smile or laugh or do anything... and he hadn't. He'd turned into a blob on the couch and had stayed there, until effectively, he'd come here. And then life had picked him back up and fate had tossed Doli back at him. It was a second chance, but every road was bumpy and wooded, and he knew he shouldn't count on her to pull him out of the trees again. She'd done it once, how much could he possibly depend on one person? He couldn't. “I just want it to go back to how it was before,” he muttered, finally, after struggling so hard to just spit it out. “Before you got your job, before I met Elise, before I worked.. I wish we could have met then – before I was an escort. I really do. Because things would be different. We'd probably be honeymooning right now, instead of sitting here on opposite sides of the room.” he shrugged, all stretched out but not willing to move. His eyes shifted from the crib to the window, staring at the sky and the moon quite numbly, unable to make himself really give a shit. “It's late, Doli. Go to bed. I'll make sure nothing happens.”

[/blockquote]

[dolores maria haze]

Dolores held in the urge to walk over and smack him upside the head. She knew that it only stemmed from the fact he told her to go back to bed, even if it was just because he was concerned or whatever about her, but after everything, if he so much as told her to breathe, she would hold her breath until she was blue in the face just to upset him. In many ways she wanted to get back at him but then again, she knew it wouldn't make her feel better. Her running off with someone else would only prove to make things even more difficult and she was really sick of complications. Her life was already way too full of them. Stepping away from the crib, she mentally dared herself to cross the room toward him and just as easily her legs lead her right to him as they did so many times before and she simply took a seat, sideways, on his lap but kept her hands to herself as she looked at him, eyes wavering, "I hate it when people tell me what to do," she mumbled, but it didn't come out cold or rude or anything but like a side note she had said under her breathe a million and one times over, "I like that I met you while you were in your whore phase," she spoke softly, a tiny chuckle slipping out as she said it, "Better than you met me when I was a train wreck than when I was engaged and feeling like I was on top of the world," she shrugged. She never did tell him she used to be engaged. She didn't tell him much about her past in general if it didn't include her biological father and him publishing a book on very private matters concerning her life.

"Look," she sighed deeply, looking down at her hands a bit absently, "Either way you look at it, we sort of have to put our issues aside and focus on..." she let her eyes wander over to the crib, paranoia already eating away at her once again at the simple yet complicated task of motherhood, "And I'm glad you showed up when you did," she let a tiny grin tug at the corner of her full lips,"I didn't want her to end up growing up the way I did because eventually I'm gonna get sick of being an art teacher and the modeling money is already running out," she shrugged. She would have eventually turned to stripping again and, when desperate, end up like her mother and becoming a prostitute. She just didn't want to end up a hopeless wreck like her as well but by the looks of it, she had been well on her way. The unplanned pregnancy was just a giant wake up call for her.

Locking her eyes onto his, she gently reached up and ran her fingers through his dark hair, "I'm not going to bed," she mumbled, "I'd rather stay up with you....asshole," she bit her lower lip as if holding back her own giggle, "Plus, you better watch yourself..." She gave him a devious little look, "I might use the spatula as revenge," a soft laughter fell out of her throat. She couldn't help it. She couldn't stay too mad for long when he was physically present in front of her. If he was down the hall she would probably still be cursing the hell out of him and telling him to leave her alone while hospital security dragged her back to her room. But with such closeness, she couldn't help but feel like they were back in the hallway, half naked, picking up their clothes after a very drunk night traveling to France and blacking out after a crap load of sex; Relaxed, safe, at ease...

Leaning in, she softly locked her lips onto his and let her head gently rest on his shoulder, "Just don't go anywhere this time."